Car O'Clock

Supercars/Hypercars – Part 1

As I write this, a voice in my head is saying, “boring old git”.  This may, or may not be true. Even so, I do find myself yawning when I read about the fastest car around the Nurburgring since last Tuesday. Even less interesting are the breathless announcements of new, ever faster supercars and hypercars, claiming ever more ballistic performance. Beyond schoolboys and Middle Eastern/Russian billionaires, who really cares?

Do the buyer’s of these things have the skills to discover more than a smidgen of their car’s capabilities? Or do they wet themselves after half a lap at the track before jumping back into the Range Rover and heading home?

If I was still 25 years old and had money burning a hole in my pocket, would I have a burning desire to buy one of them? I have a feeling I wouldn’t. For starters, even if I could afford one, I’d feel like a prat driving it. When I see one on the road, they mostly appear to be driven by middle-aged finance/lawyer types, or young blokes with shaved heads, wearing expensive trainers and too many tattoos. Let’s be honest, the majority of super/hypercars are for posing, for picking up young, attractive girl passengers, but certainly not for driving.

Why own a supercar in Oz?

I’d be buggered if I know. There isn’t much point in owning a supercar in a speed limit infested country like Australia (or, arguably, a reasonably fast car). The politicians are motivated by the financial benefits of speeding fines rather than caring about doing something to teach the average brain-dead driver how to drive properly.

There’s another reason not to own a supercar – the other morons on the road. There are track days of course, where I suspect many supercars are humbled by everyday performance cars that are much more expendable.

The thought of thrashing a super/hypercar too fast, and ending up in the Armco would worry me – if I could afford to own one. Never mind the repair bill, I’d look like a complete twat, confirming to all onlookers I was a clueless, rich fool with more money than sense or driving talent. Still, I reckon track days are a good option for owners because, quite honestly, it’s hard to imagine where else you could exercise a seriously quick car in Australia.

Pointless in Europe too

Even if I lived in Europe, with some great roads at hand, I can’t imagine I’d be game to use all that supercar performance too often, they are so fast any accident is likely to a serious one. And, to repeat a common motoring magazine cliche, a modern hot hatch is usually just as quick when driven on twisty roads, because they are smaller, easier to drive and they allow you to see where the road goes. Not so easy from a low-slung supercar.

I suppose if driving at top speed floats your boat, there are the unlimited sections of the German autobahn for brave thrill seekers. It’s not for me though, just watching someone ‘taking it to the max’ it on those YouTube videos gives me the willies, especially as they blast past regular cars travelling some 100km/h slower. Just one little mistake and you have the makings of an aircraft-like accident – no thanks.

Why I didn’t buy a supercar when I had the chance.

Many years ago, in the 1980’s, I did entertain ownership of what was once regarded as supercars in their day. Even then, they just didn’t appeal enough to me to actually borrow enough to own one. All had issues I couldn’t live with: I tried a Ferrari Berlinetta Boxer (too wide, clutch too heavy), Lamborghini Countach (too flash, couldn’t see out of it), Muira ( a bit old, low and fragile for Oz roads). Overall, I concluded they just were all really just too much of everything for me and Australian driving conditions.

Even today, I think the real reason supercars exist is to allow motoring journalist to write exciting articles that entertain themselves, schoolboys and impressionable young blokes. Ask any experienced ‘journo’ and they’ll admit a modern hot hatchback can easily outperform most supercars on most demanding roads. That is, with the exception of straight (boring) autoroutes/autobahns/freeways. In most real-world driving conditions then, a Golf GTi would give them all a hard time.

My junior supercars

First came the aforementioned Lancia Stratos. Later, when living in Sydney, I bought a Lamborghini Urraco P300. Both cars were regarded as relatively quick in their day. However, a contemporary saloon like a Sierra Cosworth would have out-performed both in a straight line. Especially when ‘chipped,’ as many were. Even so, both of my cars were a joy to drive on the right kind of road, without ever scaring me silly. (Alright, except my high-speed adventure in the Stratos).

The Stratos proved to be surprisingly usable – I drove mine across Europe in all weathers and amazingly reliable. I never even remember having a ‘moment’. Actually, there’s was one exception, when I nearly lost it on Hyde Park Corner after somebody dropped some diesel on the road. I just caught it, but the poor motorcyclist behind me wasn’t so lucky.

The Lamborghini Urraco had just 19,000 km on the ‘clock’ when I purchased it. I part exchanged my troubled Porsche 356A Speedster for it – long before old Porsche prices went stratospheric. The Urraco made a lovely noise, handled well (if a bit prone to understeer near its limits). And, felt very special whenever I drove it. The A/C never worked and the steering was a bit heavy at low speed otherwise, it was surprisingly usable. I found it was much nicer out of town, yet it proved to be quite reliable as my daily driver for a few months.

(I have many memorable stories about both the Stratos and Urraco – coming soon to Car O’ Clock).

My Current Reality

Today, when I wake up, I ponder ownership of a Citroen ‘Deux Chevaux’, an old, original Lotus Elan.  Or, some other daft old classic that would be a pain to own. In truth, my current Mustang GT and Porsche 911 Carrera 2 is plenty quick enough on the road. I’m not sure I need anything faster unless I became a track day regular. A Porsche GT3 would be a possibility. I want something able to get me to the shops and back without looking like an idiot unlike, say, a La Ferrari, Pagani, Lamborghini Aventador, or whatever. Never mind a Bugatti Veyron or McLaren P1.

Yes, I’m way too old/boring/practical/poor to buy a Super/Hypercar owner. Surely good enough reasons to not like them?