What kind of idiot enters their Lamborghini in a rally?

Mistake number 1 – rallying a Lamborghini.

Even now I can’t explain why I agreed to try a car rally for classic cars with no previous experience whatsoever. A car enthusiast friend started talking to me about this rally – the 1992 Repco Jaguar Club Mountain Rally. It was for classic cars, built before 1977, and was kind of half navigation/half timed competition events. It was, in fact, like two events in one, with overall prizes for best navigation and further prizes for the fastest cars across a wide range of speed tests. A kind poor man’s Tour Auto(France).

Vaguely, we had discussed buying something suitable together, like an old Volvo, BMW or something. We were both a bit snobby about what we perceived as ‘proper’ cars which meant that sensible, affordable cars weren’t considered. 

Mistake number 2

My friend had half a clue about reading maps, which was a full half ahead of me! So, I’d be driving, but only with the promise that I’d never lose my rag if we got lost, or if he made any navigational errors. Somehow, we imagined we could compete together without it affecting our friendship. It did, sadly.

Mistake number 3

The date got nearer and neither of us had found a car we thought might be suitable for the event. For some reason, not entering the event didn’t seem to be an option, even though in hindsight that might have been a wise decision. 

So, with the deadline looming, I asked the organisers if my Lamborghini Urraco P300 would qualify for the event. My own car was built after the 1977 cut-off date, but I pointed out the model had been in production since 1973 (sort of).

They gave their approval and we were in. Oh dear, what had I done? 

Mistake number 4

The Urraco had proved to be incredibly expensive to maintain, thanks in part to being serviced by a Sydney-based specialist whose main talent was knowing how to charge extravagantly. I knew that any problems encountered during the event would be expensive to fix. Still, the car was fit and in good condition, although the brakes never seemed to work quite as well as they should. A glance at the available ground clearance made it obvious why Lamborghini’s weren’t seen on rallies. My sole concession to the event was to fit some sticky Bridgestone tyres to replace the old Michelin XWX’s. I suppose I entered with a “let’s hope for the best attitude.”

The big day arrives

Arriving at the event start in Parramatta Park, the atmosphere was generally very friendly. We quickly made new friends with a number of other competitors. Strangely though, a number of people who I’d thought of as pals for several years had become rather frosty. I think they decided that anyone who owned a ‘Lambo,’ even an old one, was obviously a wanker and I got plenty of sneers about driving a car made by a ‘tractor manufacturer.’ Ah well, lots of my new acquaintances were genuinely interested in the car and didn’t seem to have a chip on their shoulders. 

Quick aside: as someone who has very catholic tastes in cars, I have often found it disappointing how many car enthusiasts are one-eyed, only showing interest in their preferred marque. Not everyone thinks this way, naturally, but they tend to make conversation boring, for me at least. One reason I don’t bother attending ‘one make car club’ nights anymore. 

Navigation  – not our strong point

I’m very aware that navigation is the kind of thing that excites a rare breed of person – those with analytical minds, who get excited about mathematics and chess tactics. In other words, the polar opposite of me. And my navigator, while more numerate than me, would rather be driving than navigating. Still, I had a car available and he volunteered to handle the maps.

We really didn’t expect us to do well overall because there were some ace navigators in the field, but the plan was to have fun and enjoy the experience. We were sure to get lost a few times, but I kept telling myself it was okay. I even kept my promise and never once got mad, regardless of how lost we became. I knew I’d be performing a lot worse in the co-pilot’s seat.

Speed tests – a leap into the unknown

When the rally got started, my natural desire to be competitive in the speed events kicked in and I was keen to see how the Urraco would go against what was a very varied and interesting field of classic cars. 

What became apparent early on was that a most unlikely car was going to be the class of the field in the speed tests. It was a homely-looking Mercedes-Benz 190SL that with some under – bonnet wizardry, including a supercharger, gave it 300SL-like performance. This, together with well-developed suspension, brakes and a skillful driver made it deceptively fast, whatever the test.

A taxi-like turning circle, for example, made it brilliant in the gymkhana event – who knew? Other quick cars included a ‘hot’ Pontiac Firebird, Sunbeam Tiger, BMW 3.0CSL, Mini-Coopers, Lotus Europa, Lancia Fulvia HF, Jaguar E Types and many more. 

The Urraco comes good

The Urraco was surprisingly adept at many of the speed tests. We scored well in the gymkhanas, both wet and dry, and did okay on the police driver-training track at Queanbeyan, near Canberra. The biggest problem my nervousness about the poor ground clearance and an understanding I couldn’t afford to prang this car.

When we got to Bathurst, we had a hill climb up the ‘Mountain’ (reverse direction to the race track), a road section and a sprint down the pit straight. I was delighted to win the Bathurst speed tests overall, including topping the times twice over ‘up’ the hill climb.

Embarrassingly, I received a ‘King of the Mountain’ trophy – I hope Peter Brock didn’t take offence! (To this day my wife occasionally refers to me a ‘King of the Mountain’, much to my discomfort!).

Road sections

Well, I enjoyed myself on the fun driving roads throughout NSW.  This included the Snowy Mountain region, while my navigator wrestled with the maps and, sadly, probably enjoyed himself rather less. After a while, he seemed to lose interest in how we were faring on the road, even in the speed tests. He decided to concentrate on the social side of the event and made a few new friends. Needless to say, we never rallied together again, even though we’re still on talking terms!

At the end of the event, we were a long way behind in the overall rankings, as expected. However, I was very happy to finish 3rd overall in the Speed Event Category. I was pleased to prove that the Urraco was much more than a poseur’s machine. It was far from being the fastest in a straight line. It finished outside the top 10 in the straight line sprint test, for example. It’s a bit too heavy, but the chassis is a good one and if you could sort out the low-speed understeer, it would even better. Just a bit low for rally roads though.

Now, years later, I can say I had a great time on the rally. Maybe I can persuade someone else to sit beside me in another similar event one day. Not my wife though – she’s a great passenger, but she hates navigating!